Saturday, November 22, 2008

MONTH #11: September 18 - October 17, 2008

MoniKitchen
Chorizo Carbonara
Ummm, I googled this recipe - but now can't find it. Soo, if you're interested I suggest you just google it? meh.

Humor
Just in general, we had a good time goofing around at Billy's wedding with Josh & Tina, etc.

Good Talk
Ok, so who knows why this got to me SO much. But at Billy & Jenn's rehearsal dinner - Billy gave a little speech and read a poem to Jenn and then they exchanged gifts. She got him so famous collectible guitar and he got her big 'ol diamond earrings.
So this made me think about how Tim & I didn't give each other gifts, b/c it would be another expense at come time for our wedding, we were pretty much maxed out. And at the time it seemed like a logical thought, but now it just bummed me out and was another reminder of how strapped we are and how so many other people are so much better off.
On my car ride home, and Tim went to stay with Billy & Guido, he called me and I spoke to the above points. But it was that type of conversation where I didn't want to have a conversation, I wanted to vent. So not much was resolved that night. The next morning Tim called me, and we did talk more about it. And of course nothing was resolved, but it helped to sorta get it out there.

Marriage Epiphany
Things are going to happen in a marriage that you can't control. You can't control another person, much less everything that happens to them. You also can't completely control your luck and the way the chips fall.
A marriage needs to be viewed as an us vs. the world rather than a me vs. him. I spent the entire summer in the latter category and unless you're planning on a divorce, it's no way to live in a marriage. So I swallowed that pill and tried to see the sunny side of certain things. Saw that Tim & I are still best friends and always will be and we'll always be able to make each other laugh and have "obsessions". It's "the world" that gets in the way, and really knocks you down. And that's what happened in the past few months. It may happen again. The world is bound to knock us down again. Hopefully someday we'll get a little break and the world will lift us up and things will fall into place. Until then, it's a battle. But it's a battle much easier fought together, than against each other.

1 comment:

MyMuse said...

Monica, this is so true. The core of a marriage is how you come together in hard times and it is so important that you join together instead of fighting with each other. I can't say that it gets any easier to do this as time goes on, but I guess you realize the importance of it more and more. Wow, you guys have certainly had your ups and downs the first year. I guess what they say about the first year of marriage being the hardest is true. Not that you face your toughest problems but it is an adjustment in trying to figure out your new "roles" and expectations in your relationship. Congratulations on your 1 year!