I always have very vivid dreams and I've actually always enjoyed it and how well I remember them in the morning! Some are so vivid and realistic they stick with me for an entire day as I have to convince myself it was an actual dream.
Needless to say I have a very developed unconscious psyche. Normally only I can dissect my dreams as they are specific to my life. I dream of being back in drum corps, while engaged I dreamt of my wedding day - both with weird random mishaps occuring that usually turned out to just be a funny way showing my stress.
I rarely have the drowning or naked in school or falling dreams that you can google definitions for...Until the past week or two. At first when I had the following dream I didn't think much of it until this morning when it occurred to me that this same dream scene has occured in at least 3 of my dreams in the past week. Typically I am having another dream (random non-descript, one was a drum corps dream) and then this scene pops in.
The dream goes like this:
I'm driving at night down a parkway - with trees/park on either side [Milwaukeeans, imagine something like the Root River Parkway]. There is always a large amount of traffic too and intersections.
What happens is that I am either driving fast and reckless - faster than I've ever driven in real life OR I fall asleep behind the wheel OR I'm just completely not paying attention and not looking straight ahead.
I end up having to swerve away from oncoming traffic and slam on my breaks which makes my car spin and skid out of control off the road. But in real life, I'd think the car would just tip over or stop once it was on grass- but mine doesn't. I continue to skid sideways having absolutely no control over the car and I am just bracing myself for a crash or something. But I don't really know how it ends. I dont' know if I can't remember the end, or my dream doesn't have an end. It's always as if I'm about to go into a river or off a cliff --but I don't see said river or cliff, it's just that is what I'm bracing myself for.
Pretty intense, right? Well, this morning I decided to google it since I thought it might fall into the "typical dream" definitions. And here's what I found.....WOW.
Are you dreaming about an out of control car, a car crash, a car wreck or other similar topic? Here is what it means.
Cars are vehicles that you normally should have control over. They're not like a plane or train, where someone with years of training and education is in control of. Cars are normal vehicles that you should be able to drive yourself, that you use every day to get your normal life tasks done. For that reason, a car very much represents your life in a dream. It represents your normal day to day activities, the way that your life is progressing.
If you dream that YOU are driving that car and are losing control or have an accident, it means that you don't like the way your life is turning out. You wish that you were making wiser choices, that you were better able to deal with the normal traumas life is throwing at you. You need to find the strength to grab that wheel and handle the turns and slippery situations.
Projecting car accident and partially your fault symbolize some blame conscience you have. You may be feeling low in self confidence. That accident may also indicate you have made some bad choice in life and you are blaming yourself. It is all about your guilt conscience you have in reality.
That is 100% on the nose. And it is scary that I could be so textbook. I guess ya never really feel anything or go through something someone else hasn't already felt or gone through. Maybe it shouldn't be such a lonely feeling....
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
MONTH #6 continued...
Marriage Epiphany
This is something I guess I've always known about myself in my relationship with Tim. But it took until now to really take a step back and think about why I do this, and what it says about me and my feelings.
Whenever an issue arises with Tim, or something relationship-related gets me down, my mind automatically drifts back to the other big issues we've stumbled over in the past. Healthy or not - I'm not really sure.
It certainly doesn't make the issue at hand any easier to get through. On the positive side, I look at how we made it through issues before - and I reaffirm myself that "we can make it through anything."
I try to see what I didn't get out of the last problem-resolving process or what worked for me/us last time and I should continue to do.
This time, I've realized I need something I never thought I needed before - just me. Before when an issue would smack us in the face, I thought everything should be worked out together. Thoughts constantly shared and if I was feeling something - or had more thoughts on it days later, I wanted Tim to hear about it and help me feel better by answering whatever bothered me or just to get it off my chest.
But now, I just want to bury myself in my own thoughts until I'm over them on my own - and not just because I want to be, but because I truly am. I have no idea how long this will take. It's already been over an month! I realized in the five years we've been together - this is the most inconvenient time to need 'alone time'. But it's what I need and what I've never given myself. Now it's not like i'm ignoring Tim - we still carry on as normal at home - just at arm's length, and he is certainly walking on egg shells.
Some days I see a little light at the tunnel, of being able to see myself happy and feel happy. But the next day I'll think of something that just really aggravates me and I'm back to being unhappy. That's why the days I feel a little more optimistic - I'm not celebrating it, because I am aware two days later I could be right back in the clouds again. I don't want that yo-yo emotional journey. So when several days go by and I am consistently feeling optimistic and/or happy, then I will let my guard down and let Tim back in.
Right now it's just not the time yet.
Payback's a bitch...
This is something I guess I've always known about myself in my relationship with Tim. But it took until now to really take a step back and think about why I do this, and what it says about me and my feelings.
Whenever an issue arises with Tim, or something relationship-related gets me down, my mind automatically drifts back to the other big issues we've stumbled over in the past. Healthy or not - I'm not really sure.
It certainly doesn't make the issue at hand any easier to get through. On the positive side, I look at how we made it through issues before - and I reaffirm myself that "we can make it through anything."
I try to see what I didn't get out of the last problem-resolving process or what worked for me/us last time and I should continue to do.
This time, I've realized I need something I never thought I needed before - just me. Before when an issue would smack us in the face, I thought everything should be worked out together. Thoughts constantly shared and if I was feeling something - or had more thoughts on it days later, I wanted Tim to hear about it and help me feel better by answering whatever bothered me or just to get it off my chest.
But now, I just want to bury myself in my own thoughts until I'm over them on my own - and not just because I want to be, but because I truly am. I have no idea how long this will take. It's already been over an month! I realized in the five years we've been together - this is the most inconvenient time to need 'alone time'. But it's what I need and what I've never given myself. Now it's not like i'm ignoring Tim - we still carry on as normal at home - just at arm's length, and he is certainly walking on egg shells.
Some days I see a little light at the tunnel, of being able to see myself happy and feel happy. But the next day I'll think of something that just really aggravates me and I'm back to being unhappy. That's why the days I feel a little more optimistic - I'm not celebrating it, because I am aware two days later I could be right back in the clouds again. I don't want that yo-yo emotional journey. So when several days go by and I am consistently feeling optimistic and/or happy, then I will let my guard down and let Tim back in.
Right now it's just not the time yet.
Payback's a bitch...
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
MONTH # 6: April 18 - May 17, 2008
MoniKitchen
Katie's Southwestern Crab Bake recipe as seen below. We had the leftovers in tortillas and it was even better!
Will You Go Out With Me?
Tuesday, April 29
We went out to BW3's after work and watched a bit of the Cubs game then went to see 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'
That's Hilaarious
'Applebottom Pebs' was the ongoing joke for the month. We'd hear the "Low" song on the radio and I'd make tim sing his *lyrics at the chorus: "She's and Applebottom Pebs...with the FUR....She's got Colby Jack looking at HUR"
Good Talk
Well, we had two doozies this month!
Wednesday May 7
I had to get some thoughts off my *chest* to Tim. Basically just how I started regretting how I had handled our difficult times in the past. Tim was very put off by everything I was saying. Fearing that what I was trying to communicate was that it was a huge mistake to get married. That wasn't my point, because I am pretty sure no matter what we'd probably end up together in the end, anyway. Journey vs. Destination and I'm more concerned about the Journey right now. Tim said some very strong things about proving himself, being a great husband and doing whatever it takes to give us the life we want.
Saturday May 17
The second chat was on our way home from his dad's - it's actually more in the 20-Second T.O. category. It was the day after Tim lost his job and it really hit me hard. He did get angry, but again said very strong things. But for now, this is just something I really need to get over on my own.
Recap
Well, this month was pretty intense. One of the hardest we've been through in our five years together. It started with our weekend apart, then into my heavy reminiscing and re-thinking my life - namely the way I've handled this relationship and the issues it has dropped on my shoulders. Reminiscin morphed into reacting to the loss of tim's job which has basically sent me into a tailspin.
Katie's Southwestern Crab Bake recipe as seen below. We had the leftovers in tortillas and it was even better!
Will You Go Out With Me?
Tuesday, April 29
We went out to BW3's after work and watched a bit of the Cubs game then went to see 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'
That's Hilaarious
'Applebottom Pebs' was the ongoing joke for the month. We'd hear the "Low" song on the radio and I'd make tim sing his *lyrics at the chorus: "She's and Applebottom Pebs...with the FUR....She's got Colby Jack looking at HUR"
Good Talk
Well, we had two doozies this month!
Wednesday May 7
I had to get some thoughts off my *chest* to Tim. Basically just how I started regretting how I had handled our difficult times in the past. Tim was very put off by everything I was saying. Fearing that what I was trying to communicate was that it was a huge mistake to get married. That wasn't my point, because I am pretty sure no matter what we'd probably end up together in the end, anyway. Journey vs. Destination and I'm more concerned about the Journey right now. Tim said some very strong things about proving himself, being a great husband and doing whatever it takes to give us the life we want.
Saturday May 17
The second chat was on our way home from his dad's - it's actually more in the 20-Second T.O. category. It was the day after Tim lost his job and it really hit me hard. He did get angry, but again said very strong things. But for now, this is just something I really need to get over on my own.
Recap
Well, this month was pretty intense. One of the hardest we've been through in our five years together. It started with our weekend apart, then into my heavy reminiscing and re-thinking my life - namely the way I've handled this relationship and the issues it has dropped on my shoulders. Reminiscin morphed into reacting to the loss of tim's job which has basically sent me into a tailspin.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
WEEK #26: May 11 - 17, 2008
Home Cookin'
Katie's Southwestern Crab bake!!! Yum!!! A meal we ate again Thursday night in tortillas!
Social Butterflies
Sunday
-Izabela's Baptism (Szymon's daughter)
An hour and a half-long Polish Catholic mass followed by dinner at Maggiano's! Garry & Jacqui were there too.
-Tim's Mom's for Mom's Day! We just stopped over to say hi since we were nearby. We gave her a card and the Parent's Album from our wedding.
Saturday
-Tim's dad's
We drove up to Grayslake for a made-up Mother's Day. Grandma & Grandpa O'Neill were also there. we brought the wedding album, the Hawaii honeymoon scrapbook and their Parent album. They grilled burgers, etc. and we drove over to see their new house. They bought a foreclosure and fixed it up to move on in!!
-Garry's
That night I just wanted to be alone, so Anthony picked Tim up and they went over to Garry's and played Wii, etc for a few hours at their new house.
Humor
We randomly watched an episode of "The Office" where Michael drives into the lake b/c he misunderstands the GPS directions. I've seen the episode before but this time I was DYING! Then that made Tim laugh :)
Awww...That's Nice
Well, this is tough since it was a very hard week for us. I'm having major issues with our current situation. Through this, tim has said reassuring and sweet things about being 100% committed to making our life better, etc but for now it is falling on deaf ears.
20-Second T.O.
How about a weeklong!? I was very self-centered this week, so I was either very cold or I was expressing my unhappiness. So either Tim had to rool over and take it or become defensive. Lose-lose situation.
It escalated on our drive home from his dad's after sitting with them for 6 hours and listening to them discuss the sugar coating of how he's been 'blessed' with this 'opportunity' of losing his job. I am not optimistic and won't be until there's something to believe in. Like ONE interview or something.
Katie's Southwestern Crab bake!!! Yum!!! A meal we ate again Thursday night in tortillas!
Social Butterflies
Sunday
-Izabela's Baptism (Szymon's daughter)
An hour and a half-long Polish Catholic mass followed by dinner at Maggiano's! Garry & Jacqui were there too.
-Tim's Mom's for Mom's Day! We just stopped over to say hi since we were nearby. We gave her a card and the Parent's Album from our wedding.
Saturday
-Tim's dad's
We drove up to Grayslake for a made-up Mother's Day. Grandma & Grandpa O'Neill were also there. we brought the wedding album, the Hawaii honeymoon scrapbook and their Parent album. They grilled burgers, etc. and we drove over to see their new house. They bought a foreclosure and fixed it up to move on in!!
-Garry's
That night I just wanted to be alone, so Anthony picked Tim up and they went over to Garry's and played Wii, etc for a few hours at their new house.
Humor
We randomly watched an episode of "The Office" where Michael drives into the lake b/c he misunderstands the GPS directions. I've seen the episode before but this time I was DYING! Then that made Tim laugh :)
Awww...That's Nice
Well, this is tough since it was a very hard week for us. I'm having major issues with our current situation. Through this, tim has said reassuring and sweet things about being 100% committed to making our life better, etc but for now it is falling on deaf ears.
20-Second T.O.
How about a weeklong!? I was very self-centered this week, so I was either very cold or I was expressing my unhappiness. So either Tim had to rool over and take it or become defensive. Lose-lose situation.
It escalated on our drive home from his dad's after sitting with them for 6 hours and listening to them discuss the sugar coating of how he's been 'blessed' with this 'opportunity' of losing his job. I am not optimistic and won't be until there's something to believe in. Like ONE interview or something.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Week #25: May 4 - 10, 2008
Home Cookin'
:( Wah, Wah...Tim had his wisdom teeth pulled so he wasn't so much eating anything exciting. So we kept it basic!
Social Butterflies
Monday Night (Monica)
I went out with Colin and his guy friend to Applebee's then bowling at Poplar Creek Bowl! Usually I suck a lot the first game, and get a little better the second game. But this time I bowled an 80-something and then a 133!!!! Wow! Plus, they have $5 mai tai's that are great!
Thursday Night (Monica)
After work I went out with some Qwest team people to Village Tavern in Carol Stream. Had a few beers and a few smokes on an empty stomach so I was feeling it! A lot of fun conversation about girls' asses and strip clubs!!! ???
Friday
I got to go to the Cubs game for free! A lettershop vendor had some tickets available for their skybox! So at 11:30am we were picked up and driven down to Wrigley Field for the game! There was free food and a nice big spread of food. Fantastic view and even little heat lamps since it was a COLD day!
Friday Night
I was pretty zonked from the day and the night before (I'm old!) so just wanted to be curly. Ellen stopped by for a little while. We chatted, watched 'Scrubs' and she checked out the wedding album :)
Saturday
My mom came to town! So at 5pm I went over to Pat & Lorie's to take her to our manicure/pedicure appointments at Heavenly Massage! There was a little bit of a wait, but they got us done pretty quick. And hey, for $30 can't complain too much! After that we went to pick up Tim, then to Lou Malnati's to pick up our pizzas. Then back over to Pat & Lorie's to hang out. Of course since 'Uncle Tim' was there, Isabella and Nicolas wanted to watch Toy Story 2. So we all sat there, looked at the wedding albums and my mom's Italy pictures. Then my mom came back with us to stay the night. We only had time to watch one Lost episode before we were all sleepy!
Humor
Isabella's "interview" for her preschool yearbook. My brother read it outloud to us and MAN I wish I had a copy to type up here. It was very ADD-driven, going from talking about Nicolas' Spiderman themed bday party he'll have this year, and then back to what they got from Christmas, then something about how her 'baby' (Bianca) doesn't have any teeth, then something about summer, then a rather graphic description of how Bianca was born via c-section "the doctors had to cut open her belly to get bianca out then put mommy's tummy back together" - we were all D-Y-I-N-G!!!
Awww...That's Nice!
Cuddling and playing with Isabella and Nicolas! We took selfies and looked at the wedding album - they got a kick out of being in some of the pictures and Isabella made comments on pretty much every picture and would say random things about the day. Tim held Bianca for a long time, she was super comfy and passed out!
20-Second T.O.
Not so much a fight as just an extended conversation about my "grass is greener" issues. It helped to just say some of it outloud. I know Tim's feelings were hurt by the way it came across, but it's something that bothers me a lot and just needed to be said.
:( Wah, Wah...Tim had his wisdom teeth pulled so he wasn't so much eating anything exciting. So we kept it basic!
Social Butterflies
Monday Night (Monica)
I went out with Colin and his guy friend to Applebee's then bowling at Poplar Creek Bowl! Usually I suck a lot the first game, and get a little better the second game. But this time I bowled an 80-something and then a 133!!!! Wow! Plus, they have $5 mai tai's that are great!
Thursday Night (Monica)
After work I went out with some Qwest team people to Village Tavern in Carol Stream. Had a few beers and a few smokes on an empty stomach so I was feeling it! A lot of fun conversation about girls' asses and strip clubs!!! ???
Friday
I got to go to the Cubs game for free! A lettershop vendor had some tickets available for their skybox! So at 11:30am we were picked up and driven down to Wrigley Field for the game! There was free food and a nice big spread of food. Fantastic view and even little heat lamps since it was a COLD day!
Friday Night
I was pretty zonked from the day and the night before (I'm old!) so just wanted to be curly. Ellen stopped by for a little while. We chatted, watched 'Scrubs' and she checked out the wedding album :)
Saturday
My mom came to town! So at 5pm I went over to Pat & Lorie's to take her to our manicure/pedicure appointments at Heavenly Massage! There was a little bit of a wait, but they got us done pretty quick. And hey, for $30 can't complain too much! After that we went to pick up Tim, then to Lou Malnati's to pick up our pizzas. Then back over to Pat & Lorie's to hang out. Of course since 'Uncle Tim' was there, Isabella and Nicolas wanted to watch Toy Story 2. So we all sat there, looked at the wedding albums and my mom's Italy pictures. Then my mom came back with us to stay the night. We only had time to watch one Lost episode before we were all sleepy!
Humor
Isabella's "interview" for her preschool yearbook. My brother read it outloud to us and MAN I wish I had a copy to type up here. It was very ADD-driven, going from talking about Nicolas' Spiderman themed bday party he'll have this year, and then back to what they got from Christmas, then something about how her 'baby' (Bianca) doesn't have any teeth, then something about summer, then a rather graphic description of how Bianca was born via c-section "the doctors had to cut open her belly to get bianca out then put mommy's tummy back together" - we were all D-Y-I-N-G!!!
Awww...That's Nice!
Cuddling and playing with Isabella and Nicolas! We took selfies and looked at the wedding album - they got a kick out of being in some of the pictures and Isabella made comments on pretty much every picture and would say random things about the day. Tim held Bianca for a long time, she was super comfy and passed out!
20-Second T.O.
Not so much a fight as just an extended conversation about my "grass is greener" issues. It helped to just say some of it outloud. I know Tim's feelings were hurt by the way it came across, but it's something that bothers me a lot and just needed to be said.
WEEK #24: April 27 - May 3, 2008
Home Cookin'
Taco Night - Sunday
This is really becoming a regular thing! I like it!
Social Butterflies
It was a light week since Tim got his wisdom teeth pulled :(
Saturday Night (Monica)
I went to Fox & Hound to meet up with Christine & Ashley (SMG) and their men for dinner and a few drinks. I had some crazy Purple Viper drink that was strong and GOOD. After three of those bad boys I was feeling pretty good. But a little bit lame since I was home before 8pm since the couples had night time plans, so there I was drunk while it was still daylight :)
It was a good time reminiscing with the girls and actually made me miss SMG and moreso, that if I had stayed I probably could have been moved to the downtown Interactive dept...not that that's my "dream" but as summer nears working downtown is alluring.
Taking care of Tim after getting his teeth pulled! I had to help him to the car, buy him pudding, juice and other soft stuff. Got him hom and set him up in the bedroom with all his "supplies". On Saturday, after Kitty Duty, I brought him an Oreo Frosty from Wendy's!
Taco Night - Sunday
This is really becoming a regular thing! I like it!
Social Butterflies
It was a light week since Tim got his wisdom teeth pulled :(
Saturday Night (Monica)
I went to Fox & Hound to meet up with Christine & Ashley (SMG) and their men for dinner and a few drinks. I had some crazy Purple Viper drink that was strong and GOOD. After three of those bad boys I was feeling pretty good. But a little bit lame since I was home before 8pm since the couples had night time plans, so there I was drunk while it was still daylight :)
It was a good time reminiscing with the girls and actually made me miss SMG and moreso, that if I had stayed I probably could have been moved to the downtown Interactive dept...not that that's my "dream" but as summer nears working downtown is alluring.
Humor
Still, APPLEBOTTOM PEBS!
Awww....That's Nice!Taking care of Tim after getting his teeth pulled! I had to help him to the car, buy him pudding, juice and other soft stuff. Got him hom and set him up in the bedroom with all his "supplies". On Saturday, after Kitty Duty, I brought him an Oreo Frosty from Wendy's!
20- Second T.O.
Uhhh....it was something stupid about that I made a random noise? Clicking my tongue or something...Tim asked why I made said noise so I assumed he was annoyed because it was a "mouth noise!!!" (tim's #1 pet peeve, he's sensitve to the slightest sound!). Blah, then the fight just sorta ended.
Monday, April 28, 2008
WEEK #23: April 20 - 26, 2008
Home Cookin'
Steaks and Lipton Tomato Basil noodles...YUM!
Social Butterflies
Peoria (Monica)
On Sunday morning I was still in Peoria and Lisa took Liz & I to the shooting range. So I shot a rifle for the first time! I didn't do too bad either - 7 disks out of 25!!!
Milwaukee (Tim)
Tim had spent the night in Milwaukee at Josh & Tina's with Billy, so they got up and hit the road back to Chicago!
Saturday - Pat & Lorie's house
We went over to Pat & Lorie's to see Bianca again and my mom who came down for the day after just getting back from her 10-day trip to Italy! She had souvenirs for all of us and told us of her trip. Most of our 2hr visit over there was comprised of me in Bella's room playing Barbies (including the bride barbie I gave her at the wedding that she calls "Auntie Monica" - and the part of "Tim" was played by their Woody-Toy Story-doll ;)
Tim was also tied up with Nicolas playing Nerf ball in his room where "no girls were allowed" and then burgling Tim on a walk down the block that ALSO no one else was allowed to join. So Bella & Nicolas were really having a Monica & Tim lovefest that day!!!
We also got to see my cousins Paula, AnneMarie and Jenny as they were in town shopping!
Afterwards we went to Houlihan's with my mom.
Saturday Night - Jenn's 30th Bday @ Cobra Lounge
We drove into the city around 8pm to go to the Cobra Lounge for Jenn's *surprise* 30th bday. It was a good time! We tried to name TV shows and movies set in Chicago and later, creative names for gay bars!
They had a special on Kilo Kai rum so I had that with Ginger Ale! Never had that before and it's a keeper!!!
Humor
I gotta say the gay bar naming! It was really random and seriously went on for like 30min!!!
Aww...That's Nice
The above mentioned afternoon with Bella & Nicolas! I hope our own kids love us this much :)
20 Second T.O.
With our job situations ( I know, we're all sick of hearing about this!), we were talking about Tim's options for a job search. He doesn't have that *dream job* so it seems that whatever his next job is, it may just be to get out of this one. It's very frustrating b/c of course I've always known what I've wanted to do for the most part so it's hard for me to understand - but also because I want him to be on a career path for his sanity and for our success!
I said something along these lines one night last week and Tim got very defensive as if I were attacking him! So we got extremely frustrated with each other before it came to the point of him finally understanding I wasn't attacking him, that I'm concerned for his happiness and that yes, he understands why I'm frustrated about the situation.
Steaks and Lipton Tomato Basil noodles...YUM!
Social Butterflies
Peoria (Monica)
On Sunday morning I was still in Peoria and Lisa took Liz & I to the shooting range. So I shot a rifle for the first time! I didn't do too bad either - 7 disks out of 25!!!
Milwaukee (Tim)
Tim had spent the night in Milwaukee at Josh & Tina's with Billy, so they got up and hit the road back to Chicago!
Saturday - Pat & Lorie's house
We went over to Pat & Lorie's to see Bianca again and my mom who came down for the day after just getting back from her 10-day trip to Italy! She had souvenirs for all of us and told us of her trip. Most of our 2hr visit over there was comprised of me in Bella's room playing Barbies (including the bride barbie I gave her at the wedding that she calls "Auntie Monica" - and the part of "Tim" was played by their Woody-Toy Story-doll ;)
Tim was also tied up with Nicolas playing Nerf ball in his room where "no girls were allowed" and then burgling Tim on a walk down the block that ALSO no one else was allowed to join. So Bella & Nicolas were really having a Monica & Tim lovefest that day!!!
We also got to see my cousins Paula, AnneMarie and Jenny as they were in town shopping!
Afterwards we went to Houlihan's with my mom.
Saturday Night - Jenn's 30th Bday @ Cobra Lounge
We drove into the city around 8pm to go to the Cobra Lounge for Jenn's *surprise* 30th bday. It was a good time! We tried to name TV shows and movies set in Chicago and later, creative names for gay bars!
They had a special on Kilo Kai rum so I had that with Ginger Ale! Never had that before and it's a keeper!!!
Humor
I gotta say the gay bar naming! It was really random and seriously went on for like 30min!!!
Aww...That's Nice
The above mentioned afternoon with Bella & Nicolas! I hope our own kids love us this much :)
20 Second T.O.
With our job situations ( I know, we're all sick of hearing about this!), we were talking about Tim's options for a job search. He doesn't have that *dream job* so it seems that whatever his next job is, it may just be to get out of this one. It's very frustrating b/c of course I've always known what I've wanted to do for the most part so it's hard for me to understand - but also because I want him to be on a career path for his sanity and for our success!
I said something along these lines one night last week and Tim got very defensive as if I were attacking him! So we got extremely frustrated with each other before it came to the point of him finally understanding I wasn't attacking him, that I'm concerned for his happiness and that yes, he understands why I'm frustrated about the situation.
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